Thea's Journal

November 16, 1892

Dear Peter,

I hope this letter finds you well. I cannot tell you how very much I miss you. Oktoberfest was terribly fun, and over far too soon in my opinion. And I must say that you are quite adorable when you have been drinking. And, dare I add, rather affectionate.

I do not know if you have heard from Kurt already that one of my best friends has died. I am sure he must be thinking this village is cursed, and to be sure, I am wondering much the same thing. Of course, children die, but they are small children. My friends...there was no reason for any of this. At least not that I can see.

I am managing best I can, as are we all. It has been so full of tears these past few months, I think that perhaps all we can do is live through it, and try to go on with our lives. Papa says that anything I need or want, I only have to ask. But I cannot think of anything I need, and really, all I want is to see you, and your smile.

With Love,

Thea Schriener

22 September, 1892

I cannot wait! I am going to Munich to see Peter! Oh, and to Oktoberfest. Auntie Nadia will be accompanying me, which is grand because she is so much fun!

I have three lovely dirndls--I'm so glad to have a place to wear them! There's one in pink, one in red, and one in blue. The pink one is my favorite, Papa says it makes me look like Mama did when he first met her.

And I'll be so glad to see Peter again. I had no idea anyone could become so dear in so short a time. I'll bet he's even more handsome now.


I am so terribly excited.

(Is it so bad of me, to be happy? I do think of Moritz, I do, and I wish he could have been as happy as I am. I feel sorry that he hadn't ever been.)

Can you believe it? I actually got to talk to the boy I saw get out at the Zimmerman's! And he's just the sweetest boy I've ever met. I can hardly believe that he was surprised at the chickens at their house? And in the fact that we keep cows and things?

Honestly, could he be more sweet?

He was so sweet, in fact, that I didn't comprehend that he was actually being sweet to me, sharp tongued, pointy-faced Thea!

I shall invite him to tea soon. Oh, I am dreadfully nervous about that. What if I should say something wrong or perhaps I might trip over my own feet or something? It's not happened before, but there's always a first time, isn't there?

And oh, what if Papa shouldn't like him? He'll be too shy to meet with him much, of course, but what if?

Oh, it's so fraught. I didn't realize how stressful just liking someone who liked you back could be!

Oddly enough...it's easier when it's one-sided and you know there isn't a chance...

So, apparently, Anna and Georg are now paired up. They certainly looked it at the reception after the recital.

I hope that means she won't faint in class again. From what I heard, it was awful and they sent her home, too.

[private] I can't help but envy them. I don't think there will ever be anyone here for me. They all know me too well, and I don't think any of them think that way about me. I guess I just don't shine like the other girls do. And I'm much more sharp tongued than any of them. I could curtail that, I suppose, but why should I? This is who I am...I don't want some fool who wants some toned-down version of me.

Still. It's disheartening to know that.

I swear, I think every one of my friends has gone completely mad.

Yes, including Melchior.



Am I the only sane one in town?!

I cannot believe Ilse! How could she just run off and abandon her parents like that? Martha is broken up over it and the other girls are just shocked.

She had a fiancee and everything and she just threw it away! Doesn't she know about what happens to girls who run away? They get defiled, my father says.

I think she's terribly stupid for doing so and the only place I can say it is here because everyone else is too cowardly to say it.

25 December 1891

Christmas Day

This was a most pleasant day. We had all the relations over and the house was burgeoning with people. There were so many aunts and uncles and cousins, and me, an only child.

But I didn't mind! at least there were lots of girls to play with and one of the older boys played piano. It was nice singing carols around the piano and then everyone got presents.

I loved all of mine but one: someone gave me a doll. Really. How old do they think I am?


Still, it was lovely and warm and very, very nice. I am very thankful for my family.